It occurred to me today that this week March 2022 begins, which means that it has essentially been two years since we realized that COVID-19 might actually affect us here in the midwest United States. So, in the interest of preserving some of my thoughts for posterity, I wanted to sum up the last couple of years.
I still remember the conversation I had with a friend in early March, 2020, about how they were looking to buy masks and every store around here was already sold out. I remember going out not long after that on a regular grocery run and picking up, in addition to my normal things, more canned goods than I would normally keep on hand and an extra giant package of toilet paper. The following week I bought another big package of toilet paper. And the week after that was when the actually toilet paper shortage happened. I was a bit of a TP hoarding hipster–I did it before anyone else thought about it. I only bought enough to last us a few months, though–not a whole truckload with the intent of selling it for a profit, or handing it down to my grandchildren.
Anyway, I had that conversation with a friend, and I started stocking up on supplies, and then the public library where I was working at the time canceled some programs. And then closed to the public altogether. And, after a week or two of working in the closed building, we were allowed to start working from home. A few months later we started offering curbside service for materials, and then access to our public computers by appointment. That lasted for a few more months until we got plexiglass installed around all of our desks, and opened the doors to patrons again.
Meanwhile, The Bearded One and I started getting takeout instead of going out to eat in restaurants, and spent a lot of time rewatching some of our favorite tv shows and movies because the familiar was comforting. We still haven’t taken a trip somewhere out of state since the fall of 2019, and traveling was always something we enjoyed, so that was a definite change. I started spending a lot more time outside with the dog, going on long walks, because it’s something we both enjoy, but also because it was something we could do when so much of the world was shut down.
The winter was cold and long, and we didn’t get together with our families for the holidays for the first time ever, and then there was insurrection at the U.S. Capitol Building. All along many people had been denying the severity of the virus, and protesting basic precautions that could protect themselves and others. The factions of our already painfully divided nation found more things to hate about each other.
After about a year of the pandemic, things started looking up. Vaccines were becoming available, and The Bearded One and I got our first shots, only to come down with the virus a week later. But we were lucky to only have mild cases, and not too many lingering effects, and then we got our second shots. The number of cases in our area started going way down, and then it was summer and there were things to do outside again. I got to be in a musical (with limited seating) in the summer of 2021, and relished getting the chance to sing onstage with others, and eat in restaurants, and spend more time with family and friends again. I got a new job, and was accepted to grad school, and started both new ventures within a couple of weeks of each other. But then fall and winter came around and cases skyrocketed again. The different variants started coming through–Delta, Omicron–each more transmissible than the last. People who had been vaccinated and/or had already had COVID were testing positive again, though the risk of serious illness and death with infection declined, and the vitriol on both sides escalated even more.
And now, as the number of cases is dropping again and spring is near, and the possibility of life settling into a new kind of normal seems within reach, there’s suddenly a very real threat to the stability of the world. I’m not under the illusion that the world has been peaceful during my lifetime, but Putin’s invasion of Ukraine this week seems to be an event that could trigger more unrest and conflict than we’ve seen in the western world during the four decades that I’ve been alive. And at this time, when it seems to me that we should be able to find common ground in opposing the actions of the Russian “president”, people here in the U.S. are still at each others’ throats–some, including a certain former president of this country, even admiring Putin’s “strength”. And I’m tired.
The last two years have been a rollercoaster of emotions. Hell, the last FIFTEEN years have been a rollercoaster of emotions. And I don’t think it’s just me. What can we do to create a world where people can get along with each other and work toward the common good? I really want to know. Sometimes I wonder what people will say about these times in the future, and then my usually optimistic self slips into a fit of nihilism, wondering if there will even be a future for people to look back on these times if we don’t start figuring some things out. I guess I’m just in one of those moods tonight, feeling overwhelmed and pondering whether the things I do even matter, and not sure what to do about it. And I know how unhelpful it is to feel that way, and I know how lucky I am to have a comfortable place to live, and I know I’m fortunate to have health insurance and a job and wonderful people around me, and that I probably just needed to get some of this off my chest.
So, there. It’s off my chest. I guess I’ve always known, at least since 9/11…or even since Columbine, that more historical events would happen during my lifetime. But right now, even from a relative distance, living through history is exhausting.
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