I’m officially finished with my first semester of the Library and Information Science program, which means I have a little more time for entertainment. The Bearded One and I went to see Spider-Man: No Way Home today and, as I was walking in the door when we got home, I had a moment of panic because I felt like I should be worrying about homework I had due. But I’m between semesters! Very exciting.
To continue the entertainment, this evening we watched the first episode in Season 2 of The Witcher on Netflix. Always on the hunt for meaningful quotes, I was struck when Geralt of Rivia said to Ciri, “Fear is an illness. If you catch it and you leave it untreated, it can consume you.” I’ve found this to be so true.
Starting my new job this fall has triggered a lot of different emotions for me, and fear was definitely one of them. Fear of not knowing what I was doing, and that I would be found out. Fear that I wouldn’t be able to get to know anyone at all since I’m in a different building every day. Weirdly, what I probably feared the most was dealing with budgets and having to do purchase orders. I didn’t have any experience with that kind of thing beyond my own personal budget, and I was afraid I would be bad at it, or I wouldn’t understand how to do any of it.
Even though I know that I’m perfectly capable of doing that sort of thing, the idea of it was incredibly intimidating for me. But, as Geralt replied to Ciri when she asked him how fear can be”treated”, “You face it. Facing your fear is not easy. But I am here for you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
It’s true, friends. The only way to get over fear is to face it. To recognize what you’re afraid of, and find the support and answers you need to deal with it. I know my fear about Purchase Orders is silly. Especially compared to Ciri’s fear in this fictional story about monsters and monster hunters, mages and magic. But, as scary as it was for me, in a new place surrounded by strangers who all seem to know what they’re doing, I found people to support me like Geralt supported Ciri. I scheduled a time to meet with the Accounts Payable person, who graciously answered my long list of questions. I reached out to the Office Manager and others when I had questions. And now I have an idea of how it all works. It’s not even hard. It’s just part of my job, and now that I have a little bit of practice with it, it’s no problem at all.
It was the same with my first experience presenting at Professional Development with all of the elementary school teachers in my district–I found someone to support me and answer my questions (this time in the form of a fabulous consultant from the Area Education Agency). Then I prepared a presentation and gave it without too much trouble.
Even though my examples are pretty tame, my fear about them was real. But the more fears I face, the more my confidence grows in my own ability to do things that scare me. So don’t let fear hold you back–find people who can be sources of strength and knowledge for you, then turn around and face your fears. It’s the only way through.
growingmoxie.com 