When I started writing this blog, I thought maybe I would become a legit “blogger”. Like, not Pioneer-Woman-level blogger, but the kind of blogger who could make enough money from blogging to do it as my full-time job. I started reading a lot about how to generate income from a blog and, while some of it would probably be fine, I really didn’t want to be beholden to companies like Amazon and Google that might eventually throw me a few pennies if I got enough clicks. And I don’t really offer any products or services I could promote in my blog to make money from. I really just wanted to have a blog and, in my naïveté, thought maybe someone famous would stumble upon my blog one day and decide that they must have me on their writing staff! Have I mentioned that I’m solidly an optimist with a healthy dose of dreamer?
But even though I don’t make any money from my blog, and likely never will unless I make some major changes to my approach, picking this habit of posting once a week back up has made me a “blogger”. And I’m kind of good with that. I’m not saying I wouldn’t still like to make money from writing–I absolutely would. But I’m not sure becoming a “blogger” is the way I want to attempt it. There are other ways to get paid for writing, and I’m very much considering trying my hand at something like copywriting or content creation for others in some other way. But whether I pursue that or not, I’m a writer now–because I write. And I write consistently because I’ve made it a habit. And habits are powerful things.
I’ve written about habits before, more than once, but they’re pretty important. Everything we do consistently, whether is a positive or negative behavior, can become a habit. Habits can be changed, but it’s not always easy and it takes a while for them to become real habits instead of things we just force ourselves to do. A few weeks ago I wrote about my run streak “Gump Day”, and I said I wanted to implement some new habits. Yes, I already have a running-at-least-a-mile-every-day streak (currently at 1,216 days), a writing-for-at-least-15-minutes-every-day streak (currently at 277 days), and a drinking-at-least-32-oz-of-water-every-day streak (currently at 145 days). But I’m not sure I want to add another daily streak habit right now. What I want to focus on at this point is more of a mindset habit.
I’ve become a mantra/affirmations person in the last few years, repeating certain phrases to myself in my head to help me when imposter syndrome and overwhelm come calling, or just when I’m feeling down on myself in general. But that’s not what I mean in this case, either. With this mindset habit, I don’t necessarily want to have a strict routine to follow. What I want to add now to my habits is just to consistently question myself. I know, that sounds bad. But what I’ve learned from various books and articles about building habits, is that we have tons of opportunities every day to make choices that can either benefit or harm us in some way. And the choices we make determine what kind of person we are. And I want to install a “What kind of person do you want to be??” filter on my decisions to be sure that I’m being the kind of person I can be proud of.
In Jen Sincero’s book, Badass Habits, she writes, “Deciding to change your life means you’ve made a tacit agreement with yourself that you’re capable of and deserve this new identity. … Sitting around doing nothing, ignoring your health and happiness, and pretending you don’t have the discipline to change the things you’d love to change are also decisions, decisions that mean you’ve made an agreement with yourself that you’re incapable of, uninterested in, or perhaps undeserving of this new habit.”
That quote hit me hard, because it really is easy to find justification when I want to make a choice that isn’t really in line with the kind of person I want to be. But I know I have the power to make decisions that can change my life. And I want to focus my “Make Good Choices” filter habit on my general health. Again, I run every day–that’s great! And now I drink a lot more water than I used to every day–also great! And I’m writing every day to (hopefully) hone that skill–great again! But not all habits have to be daily requirements. And I don’t want to add any more of those to my list right now, but I do want to be healthier in general. So, my goal going forward is to try to train my brain to make choices that get me closer to my goals more often than I make choices that might make those goals harder to achieve. I’ve been eating like garbage lately and, although I do plan to give myself grace to eat whatever I feel like eating sometimes, that needs to be the exception instead of the rule. And even if I don’t always make the best choice, like letting Hulu play “just one more episode” of a reality show when I should be in bed, I know I can do better than I’ve been doing a lot of the time. And I want to do better. Because I’m capable of, interested in, and deserving of better health. I just need to make that agreement with myself to believe that, and to make decisions accordingly.
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