I don’t know why, exactly, but I’ve never felt right taking time off of work. I’ve always been the person who went to work, even when she didn’t feel great. It actually started when I was in school–I don’t think I stayed home from school once because I was sick during my high school years. And I’m pretty sure the only time I didn’t go to class because I was sick in college was when I had a terrible case of food poisoning, and literally spent the night in my dorm bathroom because I was so sick. Then I became a teacher where, yes–we got school breaks, but they were scheduled for us. We didn’t get to decide when we wanted to be off work, and breaks were rarely fully breaks–there was always something to work on. Winter Break? I was either getting ready to give finals or I was grading finals. Spring Break? I was usually catching up with grading and trying to plan for 4th Quarter. Summer Break? I was often either working on planning for the next year, thinking about planning for the next year, working on continuing ed classes to renew my teaching license, or feeling guilty because I wasn’t doing anything school related.
The rare times I did use my one or two personal days a year, or took a sick day, when I was a teacher it was almost not worth the hassle, because getting ready for a sub to come in, and getting back on track after a sub had been there was harder than just going to work when there was something else I wanted to do or I didn’t feel great. Since I started the job I have now, though, I’ve only been sick once, it was just a cold, and the worst of it fell on a weekend that I didn’t have to work, so I didn’t use any sick time then either. If I were to get sick now, especially in the wake of the pandemic, I would certainly use some of the sick time I’ve built up, but my run streak seems to have had a positive impact on my immune system so, luckily, I haven’t had to really decide if I needed to take a sick day.
I haven’t had to worry too much about using my vacation time in this job, either. The first year I was there I didn’t have any paid time off, but I was only working 20 hours a week, and the person doing the scheduling was usually able to schedule my hours around certain days I wanted/needed off. The second year, I had a week of paid vacation, plus some extra time, so I used most of my vacation to take a trip with The Bearded One, planned well in advance. I used a little bit of it when I suddenly had the option to work from home for a while earlier this year, because I really didn’t manage my time well at first, and ended up working a lot of late night hours. But I still didn’t end up using all of the extra time off I was allowed, so I got a small payout for some that wasn’t used. Now, in my third year of this job, I have two weeks of paid vacation, plus some extra. I had asked for some time off for a family reunion that was supposed to be in June, and when the reunion didn’t happen I still took the time off to spend with The Bearded One since he had also asked for time off then. But I still have this other time that’s just sitting there, not being used.
Honestly, at the rate I’ve been going, it probably WOULDN’T get used. The Bearded One and I don’t feel like we should plan any trips yet, since we still don’t know what’s going to happen with the vaccines, so there isn’t a reason that I NEED to take time off. But that’s the thing that I’ve come to realize–paid time off shouldn’t only be used when you have a good reason, or you really need it. I know I’m a little late in discovering this, but it’s important to take breaks, as I mentioned in this post a couple of years ago, and I’ve started thinking about how to use the time I have.
The other day, the weather was gorgeous. Sunny, very little wind, and in the mid-fifties. In December. In IOWA. But I was scheduled to work until 5:00, so I knew that by the time I would get home, the last colors of the sunset would be fading. I figured I would just take a walk with Marty after I got home, in the dark, when the temperature had already dropped significantly–like a normal December day for me, but it was disappointing because temperatures in the fifties in December in Iowa aren’t normal. And we don’t normally have more people than we need to cover all of the phones and services at work. But those two abnormal circumstances aligned the other day, and when I was on my way back to work from lunch, it occurred to me that maybe I should use some paid time off for the rest of the day so Marty and I could spend the afternoon outside when the sun was still out on such a fantastic day. So I got back to work and mentioned that I really wanted to go back home to be outside. The boss said she was fine with it if the others I was working with didn’t mind, and my colleagues encouraged me to take advantage of the day. So I did.
I left work two and a half hours early, came home, immediately changed my clothes and headed outside with my best gal Marty, pulled some weeds, and planted garlic, which I’ve been meaning to do basically since the end of October. Marty was elated to be out in the sun on a beautiful day, and so was I. And then my mom (next door to whom I still live) saw us outside and came over to chat from a distance. It was a perfect, wonderful use of my time off, and I’m so grateful. Grateful for coworkers who saw my desire to leave for the day and graciously encouraged me to take the opportunity, grateful for unseasonably lovely weather (though it does make me worry about climate change a little), grateful that my dog loves being outdoors as much as I do, and even more grateful that I have a job and that my job allows me some paid time off. I was thinking about how I really do feel like I’m so very lucky. And then that thought made me sad, because I know that there are so many people in this country who don’t have jobs, or who have jobs but don’t get paid a decent wage, let alone any paid time off.
For the record, I do realize how fortunate I am to be healthy for the most part and able to work–I wanted to mention that because I know that not everyone has that advantage. And even before I started writing this post, I knew that I needed to admit how lucky I know I am to have a job that gives me paid time time off at all. And I really am grateful. But I honestly don’t think I should feel so lucky to have something that workers in other developed countries just have. Look at this screenshot from the European Union’s website:
Workers in the countries that are part of the EU have the right to at least four weeks of paid vacation per year. Four weeks. At LEAST four weeks. That’s essentially twice what I get now, and I feel weird using that. Plus, that’s not counting the actual holidays that workers have off. And I’m not even going to get into maternity/paternity leave and the even bigger one: healthcare. What happened to this country that we have such a fascination with overworking ourselves and each other? I really don’t understand even though I subconsciously subscribe to it myself. I also don’t know the answer to changing this other than to be mindful of the policies and positions of people I vote for and to be intentional about being better to myself. And I know I’m not the only one who needs a reminder to treat myself better, so this is YOUR reminder for the week: Do something that will make you happy and fill your cup. Whether it’s sniffing the breeze or sticking your hands in the dirt (not advisable at the moment since Iowa has returned to being Iowa in December). Or writing a blog post by the glow of your laptop and Christmas tree with your dog curled up next to you. Or whatever things make YOU feel like you’re being who YOU want to be. If you have paid time off available, use it. To sum up, in the words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle (and the excellent mug my sister gave me in the picture at the top of this post), “Treat yo self”.
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